Trunchbull: Hop to! Hippity hop! The entire school will go to the assembly room immediately. SIT!! (kids sit down)

Matilda: What's happening?

Lavender: Beats me.

Trunchbull: (Hits rod against left hand twice) Bruce Bogtrotter. (students gasp as screen zooms to Bruce) …Would little Brucey come up here, please?

Lavender: Uh, oh… He lives on my block.'

[The kids watch Bruce stand up and head to the stage.]

Trunchbull: This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak-thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?

Bruce: I don't know what you're talking about.

Trunchbull: Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! (Hits rod at Bruce) Do you deny it? Confess!

Bruce: Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.

Trunchbull: This one was mine, and it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.

Bruce: My mom's is better.

Trunchbull: It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog.

[She drags Bruce onto a table and opened up a dish containing a piece of chocolate cake. The kids gasped as the Trunchbull picks up the cake with a knife.

Trunchbull: [taunting him with the piece of cake] Here we go. Smells chocolatey, eh? Now, eat it.

Bruce: I don't want any, thank you.

Trunchbull: EAT IT!

Lavender: [whispers] Don't eat it.

Students: She wouldn't give him cake. It's poison. Something's up.

Trunchbull: [Bruce has eaten the piece of cake she gave him] You look like you enjoyed that, Brucey. You must have some more.

Bruce: No, thank you.

Trunchbull: But you'll hurt cook's feelings. Cookie. [Cookie uncovers the whole cake, from which a slice had been cut] …She made this cake just for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake, and you will not leave this platform until you have consumed the entire confection.

Cookie: Entire confection. See ya at lunch. Rotten kids. [walks away]

Trunchbull: Thank you Cookie. You wanted cake, you got cake. Now eat it!

[The children gasp.]

Lavender: Poor Brucey.

[All of the kids watch Bruce starting to eat the entire cake. With each passing minute, he starts to get sick.]

Lavender: He's going to puke. I can't look. Is he going to puke?

Matilda: Without a doubt.

Hortensia: Bruce looks real bad.

Trunchbull: Give up?

Matilda: [stands up and encourages Bruce to finish the cake] You can do it, Brucey!

[The other kids join in.]

Student: Yeah. You can do it, Bruce.

Students: Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! (Excited clamoring)

[Bruce started to eat the rest of the cake.]

Bruce: Yes! Yeah!!!

Trunchbull: SILENCE!  SILENCE!!!!! STOP! SILENCE!!!! (Once Bruce is done, the kids cheer. Angered, Trunchbull grabbed the plate and slammed it on Bruce's head, making him burp and the kids laugh) Shut up! The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Any children who object will go straight into the chokey TOGETHER!

The Visit (Part 2)

[At night, FBI agents Bob and Bill are outside observing the house as Matilda gets off the bus and goes inside.]

Harry: Young lady! Where were you?

Matilda: Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake.

Harry: That's the biggest lie I ever heard. You see those packages over there? They were left out for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take ‘em in.

Zinnia: I don't think it's fair, bumpkins. You get all this stuff from catalogs, and I don't get anything.

Harry: It's not catalogs. It's car parts, sweetness. It's business.

Zinnia: Oh, if it's business, why don't you have it sent to the office?

Harry: Because the cops may be watchin’ the office.

Matilda: The cops are watching the house. They're parked outside right now.

Zinnia: You are such an ignoramus. Those are speedboat salesmen. Really nice guys.

Harry: [looks outside] Speedboats? There are no lakes around here.

Zinnia: Yeah, but some people like to go away on the weekends. Some people have fun.

Matilda: And some people are cops…

Harry: They are not cops!

Matilda: Are, too!

Harry: They are not. I oughta know if there's cops watchin’ my house. Now get to bed you lying little earwig.

The Newt

[The next day, Matilda is with Lavender, Bruce and Hortensia.]

Narrator: With the FBI watching her father and the Trunchbull terrorizing her school, it was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends.

Lavender: A frog!! A frog!! A frog!!

Students: What is it, Lavender?

[Later, she showed the small animal she caught in a jar.]

Students: It's a salamander. It's a chameleon.

Matilda: It's a newt. "Any of the small semi-aquatic salamanders from the genus Triturus".

Bruce: "Some are brightly colored and secrete irritating substances."

Matilda Gets in the Chokey

Trunchbull: How could you keep going, you useless, flaming car?! Wormwood! (Screen pans to Lavender getting inside and Matilda opening her mouth surprised, looking at Trunchbull) Sell me a lemon! You're heading for the chokey, young lady!

Matilda: Chokey?

Trunchbull: Teach you a lesson!

Matilda: What lesson?

Trunchbull: You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!

Matilda: My father?

Trunchbull: The guy with the stupid haircut!

Matilda: I'm nothing like my father!

Trunchbull: You're the spitting image! The apple never rots far from the tree!

[Trunchbull Matilda in the Chokey, makes her stay in there after school for an hour, and locks her inside.]

The Weekly Visit

[While Matilda is kicking and screaming in the Chokey --wanting to be free-- the scene cuts from the Chokey to Matilda's classroom.]

Lavender: Miss Honey!!!!!

Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull teaches our class today, Lavender. Please get a water pitcher.

Lavender: But, Miss Honey!!!!

Miss Honey: Shh! No, quickly. She'll be here any second. Come on. Oh, make sure the water's cold, Lavender. [Lavender pours the glass with the newt into the pitcher]

Miss Honey: Vinny, cover the fish. Put away the art projects. Put away anything colorful. Oh Charley, won't you get those crayons for me?

Narrator: Most great ideas come from hard work and careful planning. Of course, once in a while, they just jump out at you.

Miss Honey: Rayna. Rayna. Cover the birds and the beetles. Hurry! Hurry! I hear her coming!

Miss Honey: Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly.

Trunchbull: (hits her rod against her hand while Lavender is holding a water glass and jug) Don't breathe at all.

Miss Honey: Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.

Students: Good morning, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull: SIT!!!! (Hits rod against her hand again) Shoo.  I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects: (Lavender sticks out her tongue) [Miss Honey: Where’s Matilda?] they should be got rid of as early as possible. Fsht! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all. (laughs)

[Miss Honey looks and sees that Matilda isn’t there. She mouths to Lavender to ask where Matilda is. Lavender puts her hands to her throat to signal that she's in the Chokey.]

Trunchbull: Do you agree, Miss Honey?

[Miss Honey nods yes as she leaves the room to free Matilda.]

Trunchbull: [turns back to the boy] NOW YOU! IN FRONT OF THE CLASS!

[Screen pans to Miss Honey opening the door to the Chokey.]

Miss Honey: Are you okay?

[Miss Honey rescues Matilda and hugs her.]

Trunchbull: (While grabbing a boy by the legs) Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!

Boy: Yes, Miss Trunchbull!

Trunchbull: Miss Honey, this might be the most interesting thing you've ever done! (Miss Trunchbull drops the boy) Sit down, you squirming worm of vomit!

Boy: Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull: Get up!! Can you spell?

Amanda: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".

Trunchbull: You couldn't spell 'difficulty' if your life depended on it.

Amanda: She taught us with a poem.

Trunchbull: A poem. How sweet. What poem would that be?

Students: Mrs. D. Mrs. I. Mrs. F - F - I. Mrs. C. Mrs. U. Mrs. L - T - Y.

Trunchbull: [slams rod] Why are all these women married?! Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry!

Trunchbull: I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. What's funny? Come on. Spit it out. Speak up. I like a joke as well as the next fat person.

[She looks down and sees the newt. The children laugh.]

Trunchbull: It's a snake! It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who? Oh, Matilda. I knew it.

Matilda: I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.

Trunchbull: What did you say?

Matilda: It's a newt, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull: Stand up, you villainous sack of goat slime! You did this!

Matilda: No, Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull: Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?

Matilda: I didn't do it.

Trunchbull: You didn't like the chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.

Matilda: For what, Miss Trunchbull?

Trunchbull: For this newt, you pissworm!

Matilda: I'm telling you, I didn't do it!

Trunchbull: Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right, and you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat. You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization. Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am God!

[Splash! The glass tips over and the newt lands on Trunchbull. She panics trying to shake it off. Everyone in the class laughs.]

Trunchbull: You!